Freedom

Of course I must tell to you that my familial affairs are appearing to begin to be in good working order again.  Olga has taken me back into her bosom after having problem with her husband singing the folk songs with his friend in the dead of the morning.  Even of more interesting notation is the reappearing of my beloved mother in all of our lives.  Until this time she has been being incarcerating in the Voronezh Region Home for Incalcitrant Grandmothers.  We are over the moon in my family.  Happy as Larry, I am feeling like the proverbial cat who has been inbibing of the proverbial cream.  Perhaps I also will acquaint myself with having opportunity for the mastication of cake and not just having the cake.  What wonderous news her emancipation is to our ears these days.  The authorities tell to us she is completely normalised, and she has told myself that there will not be anymore priest bashing.  Believe me or don't she is meeting with priest with whom she became entangled for tea these next few days.  My mother is a saint, surely she is most knowledgable now regarding the turning over of many leaves.

Despite the most happiness we are partaking of, still I am feeling within my body emotions for my brother.  His situation still continues.  But he tell to us soon they will be seeing folly of what they be doing to him, and he also will be free to breath air on the outside and toast many time to many things.

Dear potential guest, perhaps you say, this Anton he is speaking so much of this personal situation.  Yes I will say to you I am because I must.  I am not able to constrain myself.  Just as is the way you will be unable to constrain yourself when you are meeting my family for most unimaginable time here in Voronezh.  Without family  who are we I say.  We are in need of family so that we can be born and have in ourselves succulent foods and emotive supporting.  Without my family I would not be Anton Petrovich, instead it is possible I would not be myself one jot or tiddle.  Maybe I would be Mikhail Stepanovich the most beloved school teacher of the village of Ananova wherever this is.  It is possible I will be finding myself reaping potatoes but this is not me.  It is fortunate for you that this is not me, because if this was being so you would not have opportunity - a fine opportunity at that I put to you - of adjoining me as you sojourn here in beautiful Voronezh.  No we are pleased to know that I am myself and I have big plans for my business.  You will be thrilled to be receiving my knowledge and hospitality also.  This I can tell because you have been showing to me your support for my business adventure.

This I say to you my friends (forgive my informality) we have good days ahead.

Beware Babushka

It is a very important part of being number one tour guide that means I take very serioulsly the task of letting my clients be knowing of things important to make holidays in Voronezh most perfect and SAFE.

It is in being concerned for well beings of tourist that  I have decided to inform to you how is best to be handling our grandmothers.  Also I am having the time on my fingers why because Olga will not be allowing myself for the time being to depart from the apartment.  She tell to me "The next time you are being all of the night in street drunk and singing old communist songs in you will never be eating or partaking of any type of companionship here in our home."  So here I am under the table hiding while my lovely wife watches favorite movie Rambo.

I think you will be surprising to hear that our grandmothers who we call here babushkas are not very soft.  I know it is incredible but it is true.  They can look like maybe they are soft to the touch but really they are not.  When you give them a poke or squeeze you can see that they are very solid and not squishy at all.  Anton, Anton you are saying, why are telling to us this news?  Why is it very important?  It is because if you do not understand the mind of the babushka then you may not long survive in this most beautiful city.  Please do try and be of close attentiveness to what I tell to you next.

They are everywhere always they be looking, and looking some more.  They have to them many tricks up their bulging sleeves.  You will be attentive in noticing them always in groups maybe is only group of two maybe is group of five maybe more.  It is seldom been seeing one on its own, except to say in between the travel from one group of babushki to one other group of babushki.  Information does travel with swiftness among these imparticular beings.

It is difficult to say for whom they be working for.  But mark this foreign guest.  They will be watching to you, and if you have the behaviour which is to be found offensive, they will tell to you this very much so.  You can not be escaping the gaze of the babushki.

They will be monitoring your every coming and your every going to places near and far.  If you stay in prestigious hotel they will be knowing this, yet also if you be staying in shack they know also, and if you are in apartment you must pass by them everytime you enter and exit from building.  You may visit market, store, canteen, post office, opera theatre, they see you.   Even if you find you are angered by their cold dark stares you must not be getting into physical positions with them.  They will break you, do not try this as I say before this, they are not squishy.

Please do not let them stop you from embarking on most amazing journey to beautiful city of Voronezh.  I am containing within myself the knowledge to deal with the omnipotent and omniscient babushka.  It is knowledge that has been hard earned but I am generous in passing it onto you.  So when you come to be my guest you will say you are glad you have Anton as tour guide he really is the best I hope only good things for him and the developmentalness of his business.  Such a shame we will not be able to meet his nice brother.

Of course I say thank you for your thoughts so kind, but also I pass on many thanks to tram driver institute for such fine education I have received at there.  Maybe you will like to be visiting it also.

It is to me so very important thing to acknowledge my coming up short in area of writing the words on my blog.  You see my brother, the one and the very same to whom I have aforementioned was to be coming out from of prison, but we had the communication with important official to say he will have more time to be thinking about his life decisions.

I have had momentous time dealing with emotion that is overwhelming me with sensing of disappointedness at the news.  I am in the place of embattlement I find it hard to shake.  My mother has even been to see the priest.  She say to him how can this be happening for sure Volodya has been learning his lessons?  The priest who is of a wise disposition she tell to her these words.  "If you can't serve the time don't do the crime."  What words of comfort are those?  My mother was not happy.  As she proceeded to beat this priest the local militsia were happening to be coming past in 4x4 vehicle and stopped and put her in the trunk. 

For 2 months she was in home for incalcitrant grandmothers.  This is upsetting to me because how can they say she is grandmother when my marriage to Olga has been most unproductive.  But there is in my heart joy because in a few days she will be normalised and allow back in society. 

So there it is my business plan have been put in the hold for this time, but I know that soon I will be back on the streets of my beautiful city taking back my place as great tour guide.  Then you can visit to this place and I will accept your condolences with humility that you have heard of my struggles.  You will say to me," Anton Petrovich, you have been through so much, and we are so sorry for this, please take some of this hard currency, see how crisp the bills are and that they are not more than a couple of years old.  It is all we have but maybe it will help you to fight injustice in your most beautiful city."  And I will tell to you,  "yes".

Such times we will be having. Maybe it will be too much enjoying for you to start your tour, but I will tell you this, and mark it well kind sirs that in order to really understand a place you must first be starting to understand it peoples. For this reasons I want for you to spend much time getting knowledge of my members of family. Of course you will be reminded of famous russian humour when I tell you that many peoples can not be having an understanding of my family. Like to say they just don't get them. So perhaps you will also have same troubles. Do not worry, there will be much opportunity for you to be meeting different people, who perhaps will be a little easier to like.

I have small confession to make. To me it is very important that you are being at ease in my city. So as you can tell I make very large habit of trying to put you at your ease. I know how difficult it can be to wake up and find yourself in strange bed surrounded by people you are not in the knowledge of. Sometimes I have nightmares.

Back to business. When you have been well rested and have received food and water, and perhaps even had little bit of scrub down in bucket. Then we will commence our mornings activities. I get so excited about my business empire that I just start enthusing. You know, I enthuse to here, to there, and all of everywhere. It's like a really bad disease. It is like I have very bad runny nose and where in all the places I am going to I spread my enthuses. This is reminds me of funny story. Please be most comfortable as I relay to you this.

My wife Olga, who was once very beautiful, she tell to me that sometimes she is scared I will infect her. But of course I tell to her, don't be so stupid fat lady I'm not belonging to the loose morals of ukrainian peasant. I only sleep with one woman and last time was 7 count them 7 years has past hence. I am reminding her that she is only woman I have been in cahoots with. And you know this is funny bit, when I have finished chastising Olga and she comes out from under kitchen table. She tell to me this wonderful thing. Anton, she speaks to me, you are not having any possible way of infecting me in that department because you have not been capable of finding the soap in the bathroom for very long time, but I love you. What I am saying is that you the most enthusing man the world has ever seen, and maybe sometimes you almost make me enthused a little bit.

Isn't that great, she is correct. I try not to be so enthusing at home because there isn't the room, but when I am out about with people who are learning about my city from me well I can not help enthuse it is like blood and I am vampire who must have it. But I am not really. So do not be scarred come visit with us.
I will blog to you soon more of the delights of my city and what untold joys you can be experiencing within its limits.

Happy days!

Anton

It is most exciting thing for me to tell of myself things about me to you. Please continue.

I am local to provincial town of Voronezh in Russia. It is great city and meny people like it. I have been unofficial tour guide in this city for 10 years and I look forward to sharing my home town with you and your incredulous family.

I never study English in official capacity do you understand as I was student at most important Voronezh technical institute for tram drivers. I am very pleased for my most excellent education received at there. My greatest experience in tram driving means I know my way through the turbulent roads and passages of this most beautiful of beautiful cities very well. Today I drive Lada, I am looking to buy for myself a skoda fastback soon. Then I will be more reliable tour guide for you.

I love the foreigners who sit upon the cushions of my seats in my car to show them all that I know about history of this town and you may feel free to even take photos with the photo camera you have as I pilot you around the place. Perhaps if you like I can stop the car by pushing with my foot upon pedal which controls the breaking system of notoriously Lada.
To me there is so much more to speak to you about myself. So climb on board and the journey of your lifetime can start get going. My friend cannot believe my English tongue. I watch meny American movies and love watching them on my video player.

I would like to have big business empire. Very soon my brother will not be in the prison and he can be my employee. So it will be that I will have another member of my team to show you good times of Voronezh. My business will grow super fast then, he is very cool guy and know lots of businessmens. I think I will have good times for my tourist guide business perhaps I can then add another town to my credentials and when my five year plans has completed my company will be bigger in five years. That is my plan. You are probably thinking to yourself hey this guy knows his beans he has big plans. You would be correct. So you know I am best tour guide for you and your nice relatives because I am like meny westerners who are always thinking about the future imperfect and not how to live today.

Just as I am to write about myself I get excited. The future for Anton will be sunny. This is my opinion. Thankyou for your enjoyment in reading about my plan.

Forgive me, I must tell more about the great city of great Voronezh. Big thumbs up go out to beautiful architecturalists who designed magnificently tremendous structures which can to be seen dotting the place here and thereabouts. If you read about myself and think to you that you like what you are seeing on the page you be reading then I would like to give you my itinery. Please read the instructions following with care.

Arrival
You will arrive in Voronezh on an aeroplane I don’t know the time but you will tell me. My telephone number is printed on local newspaper and I have business cards in places where many people go. Included like the post office or maybe library. Many people can tell how to get them to you.

I will meet you and you will say to me hello you must be Anton Petrovich. I will say to you yes come with me. I do not know what you are called by name but you tell me when we make our special business arrangements. I warn you meny meny taksi mens will be at airport, but you must wait with utmost longsuffering for me to enter building and be your only guide. Other taksi mens will try and take your bags and hands to shake like they have important contract with you. Do not go. Very important to wait. I will come for you. As you see I have lot of advice which to you will be finding helpful.

We will go very fast in my car because I am one of best drivers in beautiful Voronezh. If you like you can move my windows up and down independently with the winding devices put in car at factory buy highly skilled Russian workers. People say Lada cames from Finland. They lie.
As we drive towards my home where I give complimented food you will be all consumed by wonder at this unspoilt historical gem. I will tell of all my knowledge about my home and when you are lucky to stop and breath the air so fresh in this place it will give big appetite for meny foods and drinking. My wife Olga will preparing food over the stove for the special guests who have come to visit. It will be you.

You will have experience of real people. Russians are very pleasant hosts. You find that is true. My wife work at local canteen on the university. She is great cook I am pleased to have her make my acquaintance for many years now about 16. She will cook special Voronezh plates which you and your family must eat as our guests. I hope you like me eating meny potato plates and foods which have in them some meats. We have much toast because we are very happy you find me at airport or maybe you will to arrive in train in firstclass and if that is true we will be happy you have seen me at the train station. Maybe, my other familial relatives who are in the vicinity will be pleased to come and begin acquaintancing with you. They are great at party, my uncle Sergei maybe will bring to us his drink which he makes himself. It is like vodka, but with more oral burning. It will be seen to be beleivable.

Thanks be to you for given me pleasure to tell of my great plans. Will you please check for when I can update you in future coming. In meantime we say nazdarovye.